Did the Fire Fizzle?
I couldn’t believe what I was saying. How could this have happened and I was not aware. Things didn’t seem to be bad, but could they be better? Sure, life had been different since our little one had arrived but I thought I had been doing a good job of being a good wife and mom.
This was the state of my mind not that long ago. I found myself disappointed that I had allowed myself to get so comfortable in my marriage that I was not pursuing my spouse. He’s my best friend, my partner in life, the person I share everything with and in the midst of it all I had forgotten he was also the man I fell in love with. He’s the man that took me on a river cruise for our first Valentine together. He’s the person that would bring me coffee’s just because after getting off work at 11 or later. He’s the person that held my hand as we welcomed our little girl into the world. He’s the one I love so why was I neglecting to pursue him?
Had the fire fizzled out? Was something wrong? How could we work on this? Could things get better?
Continue the Chase
Before marriage dating is much like a chase. We are seeking out the affection and attention of that “perfect” person. We meet, we date, we build a relationship, we potentially marry. Then what? Does the “chase” stop because we have obtained a spouse? Is it over now that we are married and everything is settled?
After I started asking a few of those questions I began to evaluate what could be done. I also began to realize nothing was “wrong” but things could be better. I love that Andrew is my best friend but he is also my love, and I want to treat him as such. The fire had not fizzled I just wasn’t fanning the flame.
We are three years into marriage this year and we are learning all the time how to pursue each other. I know three years may seem like a drop in the bucket to many and it is a short while, but it is during this time that our foundation is being built. We are learning to pursue, to chase each other while our marriage is still young so that when we are working on 30 years or 50 years we are still madly in love and finding joy in each other.
Keep the Fire Burning
As we work on building a solid foundation for a lasting, joy-filled marriage we are putting the following things into action.
1. 10 second hugs are like medicine for the soul.
2. Kiss goodbye and hello
3. Take time to talk even if that means losing sleep.
4. Even if you have to schedule it make time to get intimate at least 1-2 times a week
5. Flirt as much as possible. We flirted to attract each other now we flirt to build intimacy.
Those 5 things may seem simple but we have discovered that sometimes it’s the simple things that keep our passion going. The extravagant dates, the expensive gifts, all of those things can be fun for a time but foundations are built on the small things. Lasting joy is found in the simple.
You are your beloveds and he is yours now it is time to take delight in that and rekindle the joy and the fire of a love that will last until the Lord says it’s time to go home.
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Rhiannon is a mom, wife, blogger, designer, vlogger and coffee addict that can be found at http://rhiannonskeen.com . That is her corner of the inter-webs where she shares her heart about life and loving Jesus. You can also join her Bible Study group “Coffee and the Word” on Facebook here.