Do you remember how it felt to be a new wife? Finally having your man’s last name made you sparkle for days. You loved everything about this man. You were on cloud nine for weeks, anticipating making every meal, snuggling on the couch after a long day at work, and serving in church together. You thought nothing and no one could ever separate you two or dampen your happiness. You would be the happiest married couple out there.
But then real life sets in.
The honeymoon ends and everyday challenges arise just like they do for everyone else.
Financial pressure, long work hours, inlaws and simply dealing with the toilet seat always being left up make you irritated with the man you married. Instead of being happy, you are confronted with the realities of an imperfect union between two imperfect people.
Did you make the wrong decision marrying him? Is this all that life has to offer?
Is there anything that you can do to save your marriage, to keep that flame of love burning strong?
Yes, yes, yes!
Becoming a wise wife will help you navigate through marriage and life with more joy than you thought possible.
Yes, you can have joy when you go to use the bathroom at 3 in the morning and nearly fall in because he left the seat up again. You can have joy when your man declares a no spending week (or month!). You can even have joy when he calls to tell you he will be late for dinner again.
Joy is the state of your heart regardless of your circumstances.
How to Become a Wise Wife
Seek the Lord
Regardless of what season you are going through, don’t neglect your walk with the Lord. There are blessings for those who seek Him with their whole heart. Make your quiet time with Him a priority every day. Do whatever it takes to get alone with God each day-even if it’s just for a few moments.
Psalm 119:2 Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.
Study Your Man
Remember when you were dating, you wanted to know everything there was to know about your man. What were his favorite meals? What were his hobbies? What made him laugh? What made him upset? There wasn’t anything you didn’t want to know.
Why is it that once you marry him you stop studying him? It shouldn’t be that way. Everyone changes over time. Make it your life’s goal as a wife to be always studying your man.
When you know more about him, you know how to please him and how to make him happy, and how to stop doing things that might irritate him. By putting his needs above your own you will reap blessings from the Lord.
Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Respect Your Man
I can’t bring up being a wise wife without bringing up the topic of submission. As you study your man, you’ll discover what makes him feel respected and what doesn’t.
Hint: Do the things that made him feel respected more than you do the things that make him feel disrespected.
Men feel loved when they are being respected.
Learn to be Content
A wise woman will learn contentment. Learn to be happy with what your man can provide. Learn to be happy with his quirks. When you learn to be happy with what you have, you will have continual joy. Likewise, when you are pining away for what you don’t have, you will never have joy.
This goes for wishing that your husband would meet all of your expectations. We’ve all been there and done that, haven’t we? It usually starts to take place during that newlywed season, and when real life sets in we find ourselves unhappy. A wise wife has learned that her man cannot meet her expectations and has mastered contentment.
Gratitude goes hand in hand with contentment. Always choose to be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for a faithful man who works to provide, who comes home from work – late or not! It helps to remind yourself of the thought of ‘what if he didn’t come home today’. Life is a vapor, cherish the moments with the man that you have. Work together as a team instead of fighting against him and fighting with him over a toilet.
Changing your perspective changes your life. Changing your daily habits changes your life. Instead of saying that complaint, bite your tongue. Seeking the Lord, studying and respecting your man along with contentment and gratitude will make you a wise wife who loves being married to her best friend again. So the next time he leaves the seat up, reminds yourself that you are blessed. Being a wise wife keeps you in that newlywed love season your entire marriage. And can I tell you, there is no better place to be than madly in love with your sweetheart!