Every year it happens. I have an expectation of how I think Thanksgiving or Christmas should go. I have it all planned out- in my planners, in my head, on paper. I shop, I organize, and I prepare. Yet, just as I have an expectation each and every year, I also end up a little disappointed. It never fails. Something doesn’t get bough, something is forgotten, someone is cranky, or someone is hurting. The holiday comes and goes- and my expectation isn’t met.
This year, I am doing something that I hope will prevent it.
This year, instead of preparing for dinner- I am feasting on the Words of God. Instead of looking for Thanksgiving plates, and making sure there are fun activities for the kids to do while the Turkey bakes- I am unplugging. I am going to focus on being present – with God, and my family.
I know something that has been out of balance the last few years. The last few years I have been focused on my family and I having a perfect holiday. By keeping my focus on the temporal – I have lost what it is really all about it.
So, this week, I am taking time to get quiet. If you haven’t noticed, I have been quieter lately on social media. My Facebook runs – but Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram and Periscope are a lot less. I am spending more time in the Word of God. I have spent more time looking at my kids. Snuggling them on the couch. Watching movies and cheering with them at football games.
I am slowing down so that I can be present- and not just take pictures but really make memories.
I am wanting to remember this holiday season. Not for the amazing turkey dinner my mom will make, or the giggles as my kiddos watch the Macy day Parade. I want to remember the way the tree smells when we cut it down, the glimmer in their eyes- not the amount of gifts I think I have to buy to make everyone happy.
I want to give more- not just of money with things that can be replaced, but of my time.
So, instead of thinking about the million things I need to do – I am focusing on the One who has given me all these things.
Instead of being thankful for what has been provided- I am thankful for the Provider.
I am quieting my heart... and really breathing in the Reason.
The reason for more than this season- the reason I do anything that I do.
The Reason I want to be an amazing wife and lover to my husband. The Reason I want to be a mother to my children. The Reason I want to adopt. The Reason I write. The Reason I am here.
I want to focus on Christ.
That almost seems cliche to say – but it is true.
I want to know Him more. I want to be intimate with Christ.
So, this holiday, I am taking a step back. I am allowing myself the freedom to be Present – it is what I vowed for this year. I am going to enjoy every moment. I will be here- but if I am quiet for a day, or two, or even five- know this. The blog will go on. The numbers won’t bother me.
I am not going to make an expectation – I am just going to let it flow. I am going to be quiet. Then, I know I will hear Him speak.
Worshiping With My Life,