Art- no matter who you are, we can all appreciate a piece of artwork. We know that time and dedication went into it. Deep love is often connected to a piece of art work. Our marriage can be works of art – and submission is like art. I must be worked at, but when it comes, it is beautiful.
There is a war on marriage. True, Biblical marriage. My heart thinks back a year or so ago when Candace Cameron Bure was criticized for her thoughts on submission and marriage.However, I feel like this is not only the Biblical thing to do- it is a way that we can love like Christ, be an example of His love, and lead others to know Him more.
A negative view of Submission
So many people, when they hear the word submission, have negative thoughts.They think of men who rule over their wives with a lead thumb and stomp on their women with brass feet. However, that is not the model that we have been given in scripture. When we look at the model for a husband and wife in Ephesians, we see a man who is loving his wife like Christ loved the church. What an amazing thought. Christ loved the church so much, He died for it. He loved with a sacrificial, selfless love. He didn’t think of Himself, or His gain, but rather He thought of His bride and how He longed to be with Her.
I write this knowing many women don’t have husbands that love them like that. When their man reads these verses, he does go on a power trip. He wants his wife to do what he says, when he says it, with no questions asked. I do know that this happens. To this wife, please know my heart is going out to you. I hope you can take some of the practical ideas in this passage and maybe, through your life, win your husband into right relationship or right understanding of the Word of God.
Submission starts with the Lord.
The first thing I have found is that as I submit to God, it is easier to submit to my husband. The more respect and love I have for the Lord, the more I trust Him – and the person He has placed in my life as my husband and the head of my home. When there are times that I question my husband’s decision, I am able to run to my Heavenly Husband, and know the He has this. So, step one in being a wife that lovingly submits is to start with submission to the Lord.
The second step for me is to watch for the example of submission – in the life of Christ, and then the godly examples that God has placed in my life. I see Christ submit to His Father – even unto death on the cross. That was the ultimate act of submission. I also am grateful to have a few Titus 2 relationships in my life, where women encourage me in my walk – and allow me to be in their lives intimately so that I have been able to observe their marriages.
The third step is prayer. Pray daily for your husband. Pray for his walk with God. Encourage him in that walk with God. Pray with your husband, Read and study God’s Word together. The more that your heart is knit to his spiritually, the more that you are going to be able to submit to his leadership.
I believe that when we submit to God, and then submit to our husbands, we are loving them like Christ would want us to love him. I believe our husbands are our greatest gift from God, after our salvation. The book of James tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above – and that includes our husbands! I want to treat him like this gift that God has given me. I want to serve Him.
Lastly, I believe our marriages can show Jesus’ love to others. My relationship with my husband is a picture of Christ and the church. Also, my relationship with my husband is far different than many marriages in the world. A lot of times, this is a cause of conversation with my friends who are not believers. When we are living our lives, and our marriages, in a way that brings honor and glory to God, we are being a light to the lost world. That is God’s desire in our marriage.
Why is submission hard?
For me personally, it is a source of pride. I have to lay down my pride and allow my husband to be in the place of authority in our home. I have to trust God that He is going to protect our home, and lead my husband. I need to trust my husband that He has the best in mind for our home. If I have a real concern, I need to share my opinion and concern in a respectful way. My husband respects my opinions, and often, we discuss things, and he will “see things my way”. However, in the moments we don’t- I trust God to do a work in our lives, and I love my husband with the love of Christ.
Chime in – why is submission hard for you? What are some steps you take in order to show your husband love and respect?
Worshiping With My Life,