I can’t tell you how many times I have heard pants say “They’re siblings, it’s their job to fight”. Honestly every time I hear those words, I cringe. I don’t believe that God gave us brothers and sisters in order to have sparring buddies. He gave them to us to have life long friends.
As a mom of 6, I have refereed more than one argument. It is not only discouraging, it is heart breaking to see them treat one another so badly. I have to sit them down and remind them that they are to treat their siblings as well as they treat their friends. In the last few years, I have been working on cultivating friendships right here in our home. When disputes occur, we sit down and talk things out. There is no yelling, hitting, or calling of names allowed. We are respectful of each other’s feelings.
Our children need to learn how to resolve conflicts with integrity. We as parents have the job of teaching them through our actions and our words. We have to exhibit good character qualities as we resolve conflicts in our own lives. When we are faced with disagreements, we must remain calm, kind, and gentle. Going off the handle, is not the way to fix issues. We need to step back and pray before we say things we shouldn’t.
Kids need to know that we do not approve of them fighting and that we expect them to love one another and treat one another with kindness. When we feel they are having problems with each other, we may want to remind them to step back from the situation and seek God’s help before they speak words that will be hurtful.
I want to share a few verses we have hanging in our home to help us remember to treat one another with love. We read these verses often when conflict occurs.
1 John 4:19-21~ We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Hebrews 12:14 ~ Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
John 13:34 ~ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.