We touched on planning being an important first step in the peaceful parenting process. Yet, it can be difficult to find the right balance for peaceful rule establishment.
Peaceful rule establishment is easiest when your children are little because they grow up only knowing the rules as they’ve always been. Often times parenting throws us for a loop and we don’t set up rules when they’re long and then it is harder when they’re older to have a peaceful rule establishment. But, I believe it can be done.
Especially if your kids are older, because setting up new rules will be “rocking the boat”.
2. Write down the rules you won’t budge on.
You know the no smoking or drinking, curfew is _____ and no later, etc. write down your non-negotiable rules.
3. Have a family meeting.
Openly discuss the areas of your kid’s lives that you feel need some sort of direction or rules and work together to establish them. Maybe your kids always want to do homework at a friends house, find a balance together and make it a rule. After setting up the rules that you were willing to work together on, bring up the non-negotiables. Explain why you’re putting these rules in place and let them know that they are non-negotiable.
4. Post the family rules.
Design a subway art or graphic containing your family’s rules and put it up where it can’t be missed by you or your kids.
5. Be consistent.
As I’ve said before, our kids are sinners, just like we are and they will make mistakes. Our consistency in peaceful rule establishment is key for our children knowing what’s always expected. When the rules change or we waffle on established rules, it confuses them and will make them angry when we try to go back and reestablish them.
We must be consistent in all aspects of peaceful parenting. That is one of the most important steps in parenting. Consistency. Without consistency we can not direct our children because we aren’t pointing them one direction. So, as you start planning your non-negotiable rules make sure they’re only rules you can be consistent with requiring and maintaining. Non-negotiable rules aren’t meant to change and disobedience must be dealt with when they’re broken. Ensure you can uphold these with non-negotiable rules before you establish them.
Peaceful rule establishment won’t happen perfectly, but when we pray for direction and wisdom before we begin this process we will have peace inside as we follow God’s will. After all isn’t God’s peace in parenting what we need most?