What kind of words do you use with your husband? What does your voice sound like in his head? This is the next chapter in the book: The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife by Darlene from Time Warp Wife.
Wow, those questions can be convicting. I want the voice that my husband hears in his head and heart to be an encouraging one. I want him to know that I am his biggest fan and cheerleader. I don’t want him to ever have to seek encouragement and edification from any one beside me. Our men have a lot of weight on their shoulders – and they don’t always share it! From being the bread-winner and providers of our families, to being the spiritual head of our homes, our husbands often feel the pressure! Add that to being a good husband and father, employee, church member, son, friend, and well, the list can go on and on. I loved the following quote that Darlene used in her book,
Yes, when a woman stands behind her man, and encourages him, he feels like he can slay the dragons that the devil places in front of him. Remember ladies, there is a spiritual battle going on for our husbands to not be the man of God they need to be. We need to not be a tool used by Satan to defeat our husbands – we need to be the help meet that we were designed to be by God.
I think it is also important to remind you that if you are not encouraging your husband – he may very well seek out the encouragement he needs else where. There are too many “encouraging” women in the work force today. When we are being an encouragement to our husbands, we are helping to guard their hearts.
The Bible has a lot to say about being an encouraging wife. Here are some of the verses:
As we see in these two verses- we have two choices. We can be a woman who is continually pulling her husband down, or we can be wise, and build our homes up with encouragement. I have also found the more I encourage my spouse, the more my kids encourage one another. Also, I don’t ever want my kids to hear me say anything negative about their daddy. Their daddy is a picture of how our Heavenly Father is, and although he (my husband) isn’t perfect, and doesn’t profess to be (he even admits he is wrong in front of our children), I don’t want to be the cause of a negative light being cast on him.
Being kind and encouraging is attractive. You were probably kind and encouraging when you were dating and pursing your spouse. Let me remind you that just because the dating stage is over, your dating and pursing days are not. We need to be that sweet and encouraging woman to our husband, even though we have won his heart. Make it your goal to win his heart every day.
I also find the more I am encouraging to my husband, the more he desires, and is capable, of meeting my needs. His emotional needs are met, and because of that, his head and heart are clear to watch for my emotional needs.
The big thing is – our husband is not our Jesus. He isn’t going to meet every need, every expectation, and every desire we ever have. We need to allow Jesus to complete us – and to be our everything. We need to see our husband for the amazing unique qualities that God has made him. Look for the ways he shows you love. Understand his love language – and you will understand the ways he is showing you love. Listen to his words, and his heart. Be aware of the things he is and isn’t saying – with both his words and his actions. Be his helpmeet – be there to be his companion, lover, best friend, and partner in this world and ministry.
How are some practical ways you can be an encouragement to your husband?
1) Send a text! My hubby and I love to text each other throughout the day. We are even one of those gross couples that use emoticons! Send him a small text throughout the day, just to let him know you love him.
2) Email- I try to email Scott every once in a while a little love note. Nothing graphic 😉 Just something to tell him how much I respect, love and care for him.
3) Cards/Notes- I leave notes and cards on his mirror. On Valentines Day, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, etc – I always get two – a funny one and a serious one. I leave the funny one on the mirror in our bathroom so that he sees it and gets a smile first thing in the morning.
4) Bake him his favorite treat or dinner. Tonight, it was a sweet treat – since we are working on weight loss, we haven’t been doing dessert. Tonight, i made strawberry shortcake after the kids were in bed – just for us to share!
5) Make time just for him – nothing encourages my hubby more when I initiate time together.
6) Smile- Yes, he fell in love with your smile. He still wants to see it.
7) Praise him in front of the kids- You will have helped his hero complex. He will feel like you appreciate him, and will love that the kids see him as being a great dad and husband. This also helps train our kids how to encourage others, and how to be in the roles of marriage.
8) Lastly, and most importantly- pray. Pray God’s word over your husband. He can use the prayers!
What are some other ways you can encourage your husband. Chime in on the comment section. Remember, we are giving away a copy of No More Perfect Moms (review here) and every comment on the blog is an additional entry for you!
Worshiping With My Life,