Anything worth having is worth the work to get there. This saying is just as true with marriage as it is in the work force, or any other area of life. If we want something that is going to last, we have to be willing to put time and effort into it. This is where we find ourselves this week, as we continue in our book study of The Virtuous Life of a Christ-Centered Wife by Darlene from Time Warp Wife. This week, we are talking about being diligent as wives.
It might be a fight. Yes ladies, we have to fight for our marriage. We start by putting on the whole armor of God. Daily. Ephesians 6 tells us how to make sure we are ready for the spiritual battle that is raging around us every day. If there is a battle for anything in this world, it is for our marriages. It is the one thing that Satan wants to destroy, because it is something that can bring God ultimate glory. Hang on with a grip so tight. Work to love him. I loved how Darlene equated the idea of running a race to diligence. I just bought a bright pair of orange and pink running shoes. When I went looking for shoes, the one thing I was looking for was how light they were. I loved the price- if I am honest, that was something that drew me to them. The colors were bright, and I knew they would be safe for running. However, when I went looking, I took 4 pairs out of the box. I picked them up. I tried them on. I eventually picked the ones that were the lightest. When you run, you want as little extra weight as possible. It is the same thing in our marriages.
What are the things that are holding you back from working on your marriage. Is it too much screen time? Do you spend too much time with your face hiding behind your computer or your cell phone, so you don’t have to communicate? Is it your pride? Do you choose not to forgive? We must be diligent and humble ourselves in order to be able to let go of pride.
Are past failures holding you back? Failures from you or your spouse. Unmet expectations or dreams. We need to let God be in control of those! Are you trying to win more, and achieve more – willing to give up everything and anything to be able to achieve those dreams? Even your marriage? Don’t allow greed and lust be something that weights you down and keeps you from working on your marriage.
I think the key, like Darlene says in her book, is to have the same goals and mindsets as your husband – and for BOTH of you to let the Lord lead you in those mindsets and dreams for your lives. I know this is easier said than done. We don’t all have Christian husbands. However, I think it is still important, even then, to try to be on the same page. Darlene gives some great points on how to do this:
1. Start with a mission. Does your marriage have a mission? I think it is important to sit down, as a couple, and make a mission statement for your marriage. Have a mission minded marriage . Here is a copy of our marriages mission statement below. We run all things in our marriage through this mission – if it doesn’t match this, it doesn’t happen.
2. Values- After any mission statement, values are important. These fit into your mission. We have lots of values in our marriage, but two we wrote down that I am going to share today are VITAL and IMPORTANT in our marriage: 1) Scott and I value going to bed at the same time. This isn’t always easy – especially for me in blogging world! My best writing happens late at night! However, most nights, we try to go to bed at the same time. This promotes communication, because we use this time to chat and talk as we settle for the night. We are able to pray and read God’s Word together each night. It also promotes our intimacy level. 2) Date Time- Scott and I value spending time together as a couple, where we can talk. We choose to have a date each week – and for us, we always go out to lunch. This is a great time for us because we don’t have to leave our kids with anyone. We get an hour to chat and hang, just the two of us! We also try to make time twice a year to go away for a weekend!
3. List Your Goals and Dreams- List them out. Talk about them. Yet, the biggest thing I can share is be willing to let God change them to match HIS desires. He might use your husband to help do that – and to protect you from something that could harm you! I have seen this as I have followed my husband’s lead. I have also watch God bless the desires of my heart because of this.
Ladies, let’s be diligent as we pursue our mates and fight for our marriages.
Worshiping With My Life,