Children are a reward from the Lord. I have been blessed with three sweet rewards. Each of them mean something very special to me. For me, a woman who deals with infertility (I struggle with ovulation problems), having children was something for many years that gave me a little bit of sadness in my heart.
I found out I was struggling with an ovulation problem in 2010, right before I lost my grandmother. I had gone to the doctor to find out why I didn’t get a consistent cycle. I didn’t get the news that I wanted. I hid. I started running – physically. I shed lots of tears. I determined I was probably never going to find someone who would marry me, a woman with “broken tools”. My heart broke for the idea of the big family that I had longed for. I jumped head first into work. Then, my grandmother passed away. This was one of the darkest, loneliest, times in my life – yet I chose to walk it with God. I chose not to share the burden, because I didn’t want tears.
Fast-forward a bit, and then Scott enters the picture. Widowed, with three small children. After tons of conversations and dates, we are engaged and a year later married. Instant family. I saw in one motion how God gave me the desires of my heart for a husband and children. I have felt so completely blessed.
We are now almost two years in marriage, and we are ready. We are ready to grow our family. We are so excited about this new adventure that we get to go on with the Lord. So, we have officially started the process of adoption. I have watched, for years now, friends walk through this process. Local and international. Through agencies and private. The “gotcha” days and parties. The children that you would never know came from another Mommy’s tummy. Both open and closed adoptions. I have seen the highs and the lows. I have prayed with friends for years as they have waited for the day they got the call that they were “matched”. I have learned the vocabulary.
Of course, many people are already asking questions. So, here are a few answers of what we know so far:
1) We are using a great, Christian adoption agency that is located in the same town as us. Yay for living in a big city! (Kinda!)
2) We are adopting domestically (that means, in the good ol’ USA).
3) We are open to different races. We are not looking to have a baby with brown hair and blue eyes to match our three babies. God is creative- we can’t wait to see what He gives us!
4) We are praying for a girl. Not because we don’t like boys! OPPOSITE! God has blessed us with girls, and so, we have lots of girl stuff.
5) We want a baby. We are hoping for a newborn – we would like to be an active part before birth.
6) We are going to choose either open or semi/open adoption. This means we will be a part of the birth moms life. We want a ministry here. This is about the souls of men!
7) We are not on a list yet. We have a few meetings and steps to walk through first. However, I want to blog about as much of this as possible- so we are sharing early!
8) YES – our kids are excited!
9) Yes, we will have to raise money for this. Yes, it is expensive. No, we don’t have every penny of it. Want to help – trust me – we will have lots of ways!
10) Well, I just felt like I needed a 10. I ran out of points!
So, no, there won’t be weekly pictures of my growing belly. I wish I could take pictures of my heart. No, there will not be morning sickness. However, my heart feels sick at times knowing my baby could be out there, and I am not in control of their care, or the care that the mommy is giving her body. However, I am learning to trust God like never before. I am willing to walk by faith. I am choosing to worship even in the midst of infertility.
Our adoption pictures were done by dear friends of ours, who are also adopting. Visit them at Wes Munn Photography
Interested in helping us get to our goal?
Worshiping with my Life,